A real life grown up, who still lives at her parents house.
Here are a few things that I have discovered so far, about living in the adult world.
1. If you don't find time for yourself, you are going to be very unhappy.
As of lately, I have been feeling very down on myself, incredibly exhausted, and sort of just defeated in terms of everything that has been thrown at me. So this morning I gave my shift away, deciding that if I didn't take a day to myself, nothing in my life is going to improve. As beautiful as it is to spend time with loved ones, it is so important to take time for yourself as well. Even if its just a few hours out of your hectic schedule, find the time. Make yourself a priority. YOU ARE NUMBER ONE. always. Read a book, work out, bake some cookies, write, listen to music, dance, clean your room. I don't care what you do, but do it for yourself. Not because anyone else wants you to, not because you feel you have too, but truly do it for the sole purpose of your genuine joy.
2. You really don't have to spend every second with someone to consider them a friend.
I so often convince myself that I am alone in the world. That no one wants to be around me, no one wants to be my friend, they all think I'm annoying. News flash dan, people are busy, you are busy, and sometimes we just can't find the time to spend with every single person who's company we enjoy. Last night I was debating going to my friends birthday dinner, ho-ing and humming about whether it would be "worth my time". Then I smacked myself on the head and said "of course it's going to be worth your time. They are your friends". If I have a hard time choosing between going out for dinner with old friends or staying at home and watching a couple episodes of the office, I am probaaaably the one with the issue. If I can't find the time, other people are probably having a hard time to find the time as well. So let's just assume that if someone says they love you, that they appreciate your friendsip, they are probably telling the truth. They're just busy. Which is 100% allowed.
3. Sometimes we have to do things we really don't want to do. Just because we have to do them.
Wisdom teeth. Getting glasses. Working. Going to school. Waking up in the morning. Sitting at the front of the classroom. All of these things have one thing common, I hate them all. But again, news flash dan, sometimes we have to just bite our tongues and suck it up. Because all of these things are also things that I have to do, that I can't avoid, and they are truly going to benefit me (or someone else) in the long run. Just go with it.
4. Looking to the future isn't a bad thing, but don't live there.
Yesterday I was in target, and they had a bunch of housewares on sale. I had to seriously fight myself from buying a set of dishes, until Paris reminded me that we are not moving out for at least a year, if not even a little bit longer. Dishes can wait. Worrying about paying the mortgage can wait. Wondering what city I want my child to grow up in can wait. I am an adult now yes, but I'm still only 19. I am allowed to act like a 19 year old. Should I think about the future, yes. Should I prepare myself, yes. But I do not need to be living in the future, when my present is chaotic enough.
5. You don't have to be skinny to be happy.
Yes, I know. Again. Body image woo. Unfortunately, as much as I blog about my stupid body, and how I should be happy with the way I look, it has yet to genuinely stick. I'm working on it. BUT, one of my classes at school is about "health safety and nutrition". At first I was like "daangit, another source in my life to make me feel inadequate in terms of how much I eat and how little I excercise." But in actuality, it really hasn't done that. In fact, it's made me realize that being healthy is so much more important than being skinny. I could weigh 20 pounds less and be happy with how I look, but physically, I would not be happy. I would be ill. Right now, I am a healthy person. (Could I tone my thighs and stomach, yeah probably) but I am healthy! So screw you society, I am going to keep eating. (ps I have not stopped eating, don't panic. This is merely words, I promise).
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